Swagbucks, anyone?

I think I did that right!

Little Moments

I have probably four loads of laundry to fold.

I have some dishes that need washed.

The cat needs a bath.

My corners need scrubbing in the bathroom, I should weed my garden, and I REALLY need to put the clean sheets on the bed before we go to sleep tonight, since Monkey decided to explode a diaper on them this morning.

But those things will always, always need done.

Today, the most awesome thing in the world for my little man is to sit on Mommy's lap and play with a potato smasher.  Today, he will snuggle with me on the couch and giggle when I blow raspberries on my neck.  Today, in this in between stage between "I just took my first steps" and the full-out dash of toddlerhood, my baby will still let me hold him and love him to pieces.

My days are not always easy- babies scream and cry and throw tantrums and cut teeth and go from clean to dripping poop on the floor in .23 seconds.  But there are only so many baby days left.  Right now, with Monkey napping in a pile of his toys on the floor and my cold coffee in hand- this is a precious moment.

To hell with the laundry.  I'm going to fold up some memories instead.

We survived!

Well, it took forever to update, but we did survive Spring Break.  It was a great week with Monkey, Daredevil, Gollum, Doctor Doom and my stepson, who for now we'll call Sonic.  Much fun was had, new foods were tried, and it was all in all, a success.

On other fronts- things are progressing rapidly.  The baby is now REALLY crawling, chattering up a storm, and starting to try to sit up and do that funy spider-walking thing that they do.  Hubby is working 4-10s, so he gets Friday off- which I love.  We actually get to spend some time together without a mass of children overwhelming us.

And we finally got approved for SNAP.  It's something I wish we didn't need, but the fact is, even if I went back to work today, I couldn't make enough to pay for child care and buy the amount of groceries we need every week with active, growing boys and a husband inn a hard, physical labor position.  We actually were supposed to be approved back in February, and we've been scraping by on 100/month for groceries, my WIC benefits and a commodity box a week.  We never went hungry, but we had some lean, navy-beans-in-the-pot weeks, and lots of dinners where second helpings were nonexistent.

It was a huge weight off of my shoulders to be able to go grocery shopping and actually stock up, and know that there's no chance of being unable to feed my family a big, healthy meal that they can have as much as they want of.  It doesn't mean we shop stupid, but little things like being able to stock up on store-brand Gatorade for the husband to take to work, and veggies and fruit for snacks- that kind of thing makes me feel safer.  Knowing that the bills are paid mostly on time, and the kids are fed- priceless.

And as a mini celebration, we're having smothered chicken, baked sweet potatoes and steamed veggies for dinner.  This makes me a very, very happy Mommy.

Dandelion Seeds

It's been a little bit crazy around here.  Chaotic, really.  Monkey, at 3 months and change, discovered he could roll over and scoot himself arounnd the floor all by himself.  While screaming at the top of his lungs because he isn't allowed to crawl into the shelves of the coffeetable or eat the paper out of the printer.

Bless his heart.

He also has added two words to his vocabulary- he now says "hi," "good," "Daddy," (loudly, insistently, and with accompanying bounces and lurching trying to reach "Daddy") and his newest is "keeeeeeeee!" every time the kitty comes within reach.  That poor cat has had so much slobber and tail-chewing... he probably thinks he lives with an oddly-shaped mastiff puppy.

But hands-down, the most adorable thing Monkey has learned to do is repopulate the dandelions in my yard.  During one of our tours of the yard ("See this, Monkey?  This is yellow.  A yellow dandelion.  And this is a purple violet.  Pur- NO MONKEY!!  Nonono, do not eat the BROWN EARTHWORM!"), the Monkey discovered that when Mommy picks a soft, fluffy ball of spent dandelions- he can smash them.  Which he does, with great delight, and then crows triumphantly as the fluffy little seeds float away from his hands.  He loves the blasted things.  And now my yard is full of weeds.

Bless his little heart.

In other news- Daredevil once again tried to kill himself with a bike trick last weekend- right after Gollum had yet another close encounter with a car- which left him with assorted bumps, bruises and abrasions in a *ahem* sensitive area.  And Dr. Doom is driving us ALL insane with Weird Al Yankovic earworms.  The fiance has threatende to strangle him with an accordion if he sings "Rye or the Kaiser" one. more. time.

Next week is Spring Break- which means five boys and me, in one very small space.  If we survive it, I'll update you with the madness and mayhem.

Feeling Froggy

A quick note on the new look- in honor of Spring, St.Patrick's day, and my favorite slimy critters, we are now FROGALICIOUS!!!  The picture is one I took a few years ago, and love lots.  Look at the little guy closely- he's obviously posing for the camera!

If people only knew...

All joking aside- I have awesome kids.  In fact, if people knew how awesome, they'd be camping out in the bushes trying to kidnap them and clone them.

I love my little demons, and I love how they see life, and react to the things around them.  Like the Gollum currently coaxing our overweight cat into exercising by dragging my crochet yarn across the house.  He's so thrilled to have a cat again, he cleans the litter box without complaining.  Doctor Doom and the Daredevil are off bouncing around the new neighborhood, after they cleaned up the yard trash and took it to the curb.  Tomorrow we'll bake bread- because they love it, and after learning how to make it for themselves last week, they're hooked.

And just to brag a bit here- report cards and letters of recommendations came home yesterday- all good.  Doctor Doom got invited to participate in a special science seminar, along with the rest of his robotics club.  Gollum pulled Honor Roll again.  Daredevil has started dragging his grades back up to gold star standard after a rough few rounds.

But what I really love about my guys is that they LOVE.  They love the cats.  They love their new brother like a fat kid loves cake.  They love our house, our yard, the food on the table, the new family we are meeting more of all the time.  They snuggle and hug and cuddle (even my teenager!!) and they LOVE everything and everyone. 

They really are great kids.  They have their moments (and some of them are doozies), but overall, they are incredible human beings.  So the Daredevil takes four showers a day and is obsessed with Halo Legos.  Doctor Doom spouts random trivia off like lava from an angry volcano.  And Gollum occasionally pouts so hard pigeons use his lower lip as a perch.  None of that takes away from the fact that they are superheroes in my eyes.

Monkeys, Marriage and Mischief

So, we have a Monkey.  Born December 13, 2011, the Monkey was 6lbs 3oz, 19 inches long.  He's an adorable little goober, and already shaping up to be as much trouble as his older brothers.  I bounced back pretty quick, and I'm no longer psychotically crazy- just normal crazy.

In addition to having a 2 month old, the BF has become the soon-to-be husband, and we've bought a house.

Or rather, it will BE a house, once we finish renovating it.

I'm sure there are Mommies out there who have renovated on a budget- so you'll understand when I say that we are going crazy.  Our budget isn't even in the shoestring range- more like spider silk.  With a combination of luck, barter and an amazingly generous family who donated time and skills, we've managed to remove all the nasty flooring, paint the entire house, scrub it clean, replace the back door knob and locks, put down KILZ and rugs on the subfloor we have to live with temporarily, snag some furniture and fix the furnace issues- all for about $200. 

We have all the basic essentials of life, which makes us happy.  We have an incredibly healthy and happy baby.  We're blessed in having a relationship that weathered my temporary mental health issues, great kids, and a wonderful support network. 

I'll be back to blogging on a regular basis now that we have a more stable home life, so look for more updates soon!

This will not be a happy bunny cheerful post, because I'm all out of sunshine and rainbows, and really just want to go curl up in a corner somewhere until everything is over.   You've been warned.

Still no baby, and I am really freaking miserable.  I hurt, and my legs are knotted from the back of my buttocks to my ankles, and swollen on top of it.  Baby is stalled right now, and because of all the debates about my due date, nothing is going to happen.  In the meantime, I can't go back to work, because my legs and feet are so swollen and painful that I can't stand or walk around for long periods of time.  I'm going to try an Epsom Salts bath today (if I can find my Epsoms) and see if I can get some of the fluid retention out.

Had to go to U of L last night to be checked, and I wasn't exactly thrilled.  While not as bad as Natalie, they passed me off to a couple of residents who pretty much irritated me more than anything else.  They also tried to give me drugs immediately, as though that was a necessity- because I said I'd had a bit of a headache and nausea/queasiness all day.  One of the drugs they were going to give me was Zofran, and the other I want to say was Dilauid?  The Zofran was for nausea, the D-Whatever was for the headache.  I refused both and I think they were surprised.  What part of- I don't take anything that isn't absolutely necessary do they not get?

Irony- my back is spasming periodically from the combination of weight, stress and contractions.  The nurse said "we can give you some Flexiril- that will help with the back pain."  I just shook my head and wanted to laugh.  The baby's heart rate kept dropping at random from 130s to low hundreds, and they told me that's normal.  Scary as hell however, to hear a nice steady rolling rhythm, that all of a sudden stutters and drops.

On top of that, the BF has been an ass for the last few days.  Everyone has told him he is being a sulky, broody, pouting PITA and he just insists that he is NOT!  *insert foot stomp here*  I am out of patience or tolerance.  He doesn't understand that he makes me tense, angry and nervous with his damn hovering and pushiness and snapping at my kids (which if he doesn't leave them the fuck alone for the next few days, I am going to kick his ass).  My friend (TSP) who has been staying with me so I'm not just curled in a ball on the couch crying- she makes me happy and keeps me laughing.  She plays with me and lets me do my thing.  She's kinda like Sarah, lite.

But she's not Sarah, and honestly- I wish I was in NY right now with Sarah, Queen Mother of Ta-Tas instead.  Because she's awesome, and gets me, and understands that the whole "I am internalizing X amount of pain and covering it up with humor, hyperactivity and snarky goodness- please either participate or go nap in a corner" mindset I have in the last stages of this annoying bitch of a thing called pregnancy.  TSP gets that, but Sarah has the added advantage of fifteen years of dealing with me at my absolute worst. 

If this baby doesn't get moving soon, I'm going to simply crawl in the closet and wait for Sarah to be able to come down.  I think I need the closest thing to a real family I have left.  I'm depressed, frustrated, in discomfort pretty much constantly- and I just need it all to stop.

Adventures in Baby-Hunting

So far, I have:

• had about a million contractions, that won't get consistent.
• slugged down a couple gallons of raspberry tea (thank goodness it's delicious) and double that amount of water.
• traumatized my friend the Sober Psycho by making her go to the mall and try on girly clothes.
• made a Silence of the Lambs reference that knocked TSP out of the chair and onto the floor in spasms of laughter
• scrubbed the bathroom floor. You could eat off my baseboards in there.
• walked a couple miles or ten.
• realized the BF is going to be completely screwed.  I'm not even in full Snarky Bitch mode yet and he's already showing signs of trauma.
• started sneezing like no one's business.

That's been my day so far.

The Top 5 Things I Know About Drug-Free Labor....

So, for Mommies to Be who are possibly freaking out about labor- here's a few things that you can pretty much expect if you go the no-drugs route that I prefer.

1. It hurts. Yep, they tell you the truth about that. Intense, biting, wringing waves of pain that get closer together as the big moment arrives. You can fight them, and wear yourself out into a screaming, moaning crying mess. You can breathe through them and end up spitting out curses in little puffs. You can Zen through them and chew your lips bloody. But they will NOT kill you, believe it or not. I personally prefer a combination of breathing and Zen that may or may not resemble a muttered mantra of "Ihateyouyousorrysonuvabitchandi'msharpeningthefilletknifewhenigethomejustforyou." Especially if the XY donator is patting my hand and trying to be helpful.

2. Your body will want you to MOVE. I mean that. The worst thing that you can do is ignore those demands- if you feel like you should be curled up in a fetal ball in the corner or bent sideways and backwards over a chair- there's probably a really good reason. Walking, swaying, rocking, bouncing, squatting, crouching, rolling, stretching- all of these things are the body telling you "hey, we need some gravity over here on the left!" or "cramps at two o-clock, take evasive action!" Instincts are awesome- and really, who the hell cares if you look silly while in labor? You're pushing a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon- there's no graceful way to weather that particular storm.

3. The shower may be your best friend. I almost lived in the shower during my last labor. I may live in it during this one. Water is innately soothing and incredibly comforting, and it helped me deal with feeling like there were small spikes being driven into my spine at regular intervals. If you can get into the shower- do it. Make a labor partner come in and chat with you while you shower. Bring aromatherapy soap. Have someone wash your hair. Enjoy the little bits of relief you can get, when you get them.

4. Labor is UNcomfortable, so make yourself as comfortable as possible.  Fluorescent lights (overhead lights in general) hurt my eyes and head, so I turned on all the little side lamps and turned off the overheads.  Hospital gowns give me the shuddering skeevies, so I buy myself something comfy specifically for labor- blood will come right out with Ivory soap and cold water.  And awesome socks, because awesome socks are love.  Heating pads or hot water bottles, foot massages or ice packs- whatever works for you- do it.  Listen to your music or watch a movie that makes you laugh.  And if ANYONE in the room makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, kick their ass out.  I don't care if it's your husband- if he's being a dick, toss him.  Mom being a pain? Boot her.  The person who is engaged in pushing a St. Berhard through the cat door is the ruling monarch of that room- so enjoy being the Queen Bitch.

5. Beware the ring of fire.  This is the point where you start SCREAMING for relief- and it's too late, because that awesome little person that you're about to fall in love with (after you want to kill them) is making his final descent.  Throw on some Johnny Cash and go along for the ride- you're committed at this point and there's no going back.  No one ever thinks to warn us about this- and they SHOULD.  Because trust me, that last push to get that kid out of you and into the world is the absolute hardest part of labor.  It's also the most rewarding, so embrace it whole-heartedly, and go for the gold.

You've got this, Champ!