I love my family like the Alienbaby loves applesauce. They are quirky, bizarre, charming, and utterly mad, but I adore them. That aside, there's a list of things three and a quarter miles long I often think, and seldom say. But oh boy, do I want to...
1. First- what is with the drunken elephant stomp? There are three culprits for this one- the BF, the Daredevil, and Gollum. When all three of them are in residence, it sounds like feeding time in the big top. I love them, but occasionally, I feel like I have their shoeprints on the inside of my eyelids. Haven't you guys ever heard of "walk softly and carry a big stick?"
2. The Battle of the Tea. Everyone in this household drinks iced tea (the SWEET kind, of course) like it's one of the necessities of life. Unfortunately, there are arguments on how to make said tea. The Ex makes the best, hands down- brewed, steeped for 20 minutes, 1 full cup of sugar, and stirred (counter clockwise) for exactly 30 seconds, with a metal spoon. We all agree on this- and yet there is a daily fight over how to make the tea (and who needs to do it). Can't we all just agree to adopt the Ex's method and make the tea whenever it gets low?
3. Why do I have no underwear? I'm the only girl in the house. We wash a dozen loads of laundry a week, and I fold dozens of pairs of boy undies in all shapes, colors, patterns and sizes. Unless one of you guys has a secret fetish for wearing my granny panties or we have fairies who only steal ladies' undergarments, there is no excuse for me to constantly scramble around looking for my panties. May I PLEASE have them back?
4. Drama is for stage shows. Granted, my life is pretty crazy, but I'm trying to find the humor in it. It makes me sad and worried when the only things I ever hear are how bad things are. I know things are tough all over, but please smile and try to say something positive every once in a while- otherwise I might have to shove a bar of sunshine up your rump. :) It's for your own good.
5. I love you guys like I love sunshine, kittens, rainbows and shiny things. I don't tell you that enough, and I'm sure sometimes you think I am the ogre in the closet because I'm always so damn blunt and hardheaded about things that I have strong opinions on, but I do love you.