I'm excited!!!
Want to know why?
http://www.amazon.com/Fearless-Gabrielle-White-ebook/dp/B00H8ZK29E/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1387390447&sr=1-1&keywords=Gabrielle+White+Fearless
I am finally on Amazon! FEARLESS, an anthology of 11 short stories, is now available in Kindle eBook format, freshly edited and with a new fancy-schmancy cover. I'm also on Twitter @GabWhiteWrites.
Both of these new arrivals are just a warm-up for my planned January release of AMERICAN BABY, which has been a long, hard road in the making, and of several new projects which I have been beating myself to a pulp over.
I will have a pretty heavy schedule for a while between work, home life and writing, but isn't that what makes us thankful for our blessings?
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Sleepless in Kentucky
I hate insomnia with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns. I've cut down to one cup of a coffee a day, I'm exercising, trying all the fun tricks that are supposed to get your body into the right place for sleep.
Well, the body is willing, but my mind is a raving lunatic, fueled by some sort of demonic energy drink. It moves at a million miles an hour, compiling lists and information, reordering, analyzing, questioning and popping up the random sparkly purple squirrel, just for fun. I spend all night tossing and turning, and finally fall into a completely not restful death-sleep for a couple of hours right about the time I need to get up. If I manage that much.
So, I'm doing silly stuff. I put the peanut butter in the fridge. I put my jeans on backwards (and then spent at least 60 seconds staring at them wondering what was wrong with them). I might have even taken a load of laundry from the dryer and loaded it into the washer. Thankfully, I might also have realized it before I added soap and water. It reminds me of my mother when she worked three jobs, with her shoes and keys in the fridge and the milk in the cabinet.
Damn you, insomnia- let me sleep!
Well, the body is willing, but my mind is a raving lunatic, fueled by some sort of demonic energy drink. It moves at a million miles an hour, compiling lists and information, reordering, analyzing, questioning and popping up the random sparkly purple squirrel, just for fun. I spend all night tossing and turning, and finally fall into a completely not restful death-sleep for a couple of hours right about the time I need to get up. If I manage that much.
So, I'm doing silly stuff. I put the peanut butter in the fridge. I put my jeans on backwards (and then spent at least 60 seconds staring at them wondering what was wrong with them). I might have even taken a load of laundry from the dryer and loaded it into the washer. Thankfully, I might also have realized it before I added soap and water. It reminds me of my mother when she worked three jobs, with her shoes and keys in the fridge and the milk in the cabinet.
Damn you, insomnia- let me sleep!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Coping
A very large part of me just wants to give up right now. The past few months have felt like a particular sadistic demon had made it his personal fetish to put us repeatedly through a meat grinder.
So far we have dealt with major relationship crisis, problems with the kids that run the gamut from Daredevil apparently taking the world's quota or slacker pills to Gollum losing his shit and pulling a butcher's knife on someone over a Nerf sword fight he lost. (Trust me, that isn't even half of it, just the least/greatest of the problems.) The neighbors wanted us to sell our place to their grandson for less than half of what we put into it less than a year ago. We refused, and so far they've called the park manager to try and get us evicted, filed a false police report, and sicced CPS on us. Oh, and managed to get The Talent's family involved- so we cut ties with them as best we could.
In the middle of this shitstorm, Gollum, who was already pissed at his stepdad for making him do chores and disciplining him, decided to get some of his own back and claim TT had bloodied his lip. End result- we have to go to court and prove that my habitually vindicative and untruthful Gollum is lying- and I'm under house arrest and not able to leave the children with TT (including his own 18month old son) alone. Which means I can't work.
And then he got laid off and cut from the union. Great...
The Talent was supposed to start with a new company today. Sat down and talked to the owner, hammered out all the details of pay and schooling. Reported for work this morning- and the guy who apparently holds the owner's balls informs TT that A) they aren't going to pay him XX, they're going to pay him X, and B) suddenly, TT has to pay for schooling. Fuck.
Fine, okay, go to the unemployment office to apply for the unemployment he should be getting for the past couple weeks and until he finds a new job. Sure, he can file a claim, but they're not going to pay him for the two weeks he's been off. So we're fucked there.
I'm honestly trying very, very hard to remain calm and positive, but as of right now, I want to say fuck it and stop fighting. I want to quit, give up everything and put a very large caliber bullet in a very small hole in my head. I'm the person who takes care of everyone and deals with all the shit that comes our way, and I'm tapped out. There's no one to help me pick up the slack, no one to even rub my back and tell me everything will work out. There's no respite or tapping out. I can't even have a good old-fashioned screaming me-me fit, because that might reflect badly on us with CPS.
I've followed everyone's advice, I've kept my head down and mouth shut, I've turned the other cheek, I've let go and let God, I've been understanding and supportive until my teeth ache. I called my MOTHER for advice (and those who know me know how desperate I was to do that) and got a guilt trip. My brother screamed at me. So did my spouse. Every time it's looked like there was a glimmer of light, it was just another fucking train, and I can't take anymore.
Right now, for the first time that I can remember, I don't want to be a mom. I don't want to be a wife. I don't want to be anything to anyone. I would honestly rather be dead than keep trying to fight the whole fucking world. For the first time, I don't have any will to fight- the world can win. Just remember- no funeral, cremated in a cardboard box immediately, toss that shit in the ocean and have a couple drinks and laughs around a bonfire for me.
So far we have dealt with major relationship crisis, problems with the kids that run the gamut from Daredevil apparently taking the world's quota or slacker pills to Gollum losing his shit and pulling a butcher's knife on someone over a Nerf sword fight he lost. (Trust me, that isn't even half of it, just the least/greatest of the problems.) The neighbors wanted us to sell our place to their grandson for less than half of what we put into it less than a year ago. We refused, and so far they've called the park manager to try and get us evicted, filed a false police report, and sicced CPS on us. Oh, and managed to get The Talent's family involved- so we cut ties with them as best we could.
In the middle of this shitstorm, Gollum, who was already pissed at his stepdad for making him do chores and disciplining him, decided to get some of his own back and claim TT had bloodied his lip. End result- we have to go to court and prove that my habitually vindicative and untruthful Gollum is lying- and I'm under house arrest and not able to leave the children with TT (including his own 18month old son) alone. Which means I can't work.
And then he got laid off and cut from the union. Great...
The Talent was supposed to start with a new company today. Sat down and talked to the owner, hammered out all the details of pay and schooling. Reported for work this morning- and the guy who apparently holds the owner's balls informs TT that A) they aren't going to pay him XX, they're going to pay him X, and B) suddenly, TT has to pay for schooling. Fuck.
Fine, okay, go to the unemployment office to apply for the unemployment he should be getting for the past couple weeks and until he finds a new job. Sure, he can file a claim, but they're not going to pay him for the two weeks he's been off. So we're fucked there.
I'm honestly trying very, very hard to remain calm and positive, but as of right now, I want to say fuck it and stop fighting. I want to quit, give up everything and put a very large caliber bullet in a very small hole in my head. I'm the person who takes care of everyone and deals with all the shit that comes our way, and I'm tapped out. There's no one to help me pick up the slack, no one to even rub my back and tell me everything will work out. There's no respite or tapping out. I can't even have a good old-fashioned screaming me-me fit, because that might reflect badly on us with CPS.
I've followed everyone's advice, I've kept my head down and mouth shut, I've turned the other cheek, I've let go and let God, I've been understanding and supportive until my teeth ache. I called my MOTHER for advice (and those who know me know how desperate I was to do that) and got a guilt trip. My brother screamed at me. So did my spouse. Every time it's looked like there was a glimmer of light, it was just another fucking train, and I can't take anymore.
Right now, for the first time that I can remember, I don't want to be a mom. I don't want to be a wife. I don't want to be anything to anyone. I would honestly rather be dead than keep trying to fight the whole fucking world. For the first time, I don't have any will to fight- the world can win. Just remember- no funeral, cremated in a cardboard box immediately, toss that shit in the ocean and have a couple drinks and laughs around a bonfire for me.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Patio and Container gardens
I LOVE veggies. And fruit. And salad.
Luckily, I'm blessed with kids that love all this stuff too. What we haven't always been blessed with is the space to grow a decent-sized garden. Several years ago, I started doing container gardens, loaded with enough plants to produce either a full serving of veggies or a salad (or a fruit addition) for at least one meal a day for the whole growing season. It started as an experiment, and ended up being one of my favorite, and most successful, projects ever. All you have to do is follow a couple of really, really simple rules.
1) Start with the right tools- plants need food, sunlight and water to grow. Use the best soil and container possible. I use cow manure and half-casks (available cheaply at most Wal-Marts or gardening centers), since my containers are outside, mixed with perlite and some generic potting soil. All told, it might cost me about $4 a container to fill them up with a good blend. Most importantly- find the right spot. Ideally, you want somewhere with morning sun, but anywhere that gets good sun/light for at least 6 hours a day will usually produce plenty of goodies.
2) Only plant what you know you'll eat. If you hate peas, don't bother with them.
3) Plan a meal around your container. It's not hard. If you like spaghetti with salad on the side, plant an Italian garden with a heirloom tomato (Silver Palates, Old Man in The Sea, Black Krim, or any of the yellow/pink tomatoes), a green bell pepper plant, basil, rosemary, parsley, oregano, thyme, green bunch onions, lettuce and a bush-type cherry tomato. Yes, all that will fit in a container that fits into a 2x2 square space. I even tuck in nasturtium seeds.
That's it, that's all the rules. Now I'll explain how I plant these suckers, and why they work for me.
First, go get your pot. You can use something smaller than a half-cask sized pot if you like, and you can do as many pots as you can creatively arrange in your space. Make sure there's a good drainage hole. If not, you can dump some small landscaping rocks, broken chunks of brick, or whatever stone you have at hand in the bottom for a couple of inches to make a place for the water to escape to. Once you've handled drainage, fill your pot to within six inches of the top with your soil mixture.
Now you're ready for plants. For the fastest yield, you can start with seedling plants from a garden center. I do a mixture of seedlings and seeds, because certain plants I prefer to grow from seed, lettuce being one of the main ones. Remove your seedlings carefully from their nursery containers, keeping as much of the soil around the root ball as possible, unless they came in peat-pots that can be planted as they are. If you're growing plants that need supports, such as large-bush tomatoes, now is the time to go ahead and put your stakes in. Once that's done, you can arrange your plants in a classic container garden formation- tallest plants in the center, then fillers (such as herbs for an Italian-seasoning blend, edible flowers, lettuce), then spillers (thyme, vine plants such as squash, strawberries). This makes a classically attractive garden arrangement, and with the beautiful colors available in lettuce and other leafy greens, it can be as flamboyant as any flower bed. Give each seedling approximately 2.5" of space from it's neighbor. After planting the seedlings, fill in the soil around them to cover the nursery soil completely. Don't worry if you bury a bit of the stem- the plant will put out new roots along the buried part as it settles into its new home.
Alternatively, if you're a corner container person (which I am), you can arrange your plants with the tallest plants at the back (with an attractive stake or trellis arrangement against the backing walls), then mix in, your fillers, spillers, and even a few "pretties"- plants that have no purpose other than attracting bees and butterflies or adding fragrance to your patio. Fertilize well once every 10-14 days with a water-soluble all-purpose organic fertilizer.
Now, I've used my Italian dinner garden as an example throughout this post, but there are dozens of combinations available. Some of my favorites are:
Italian dinner- 1 large cooking tomato, 1 cherry tomato, 1 bell pepper, 1 basil, 1 oregano, 1 thyme, 1 rosemary, green bunching onions, 1 parsley, lettuce seeds (romaine, red and green leaf and butter are my favorites), nasturtium seeds. Plant seedlings, with stakes for the tomatoes and pepper plants. Cover the root balls with soil. Sprinkle lettuce seeds throughout the open areas, water well. (Lettuce may have to be resown periodically) Fertilize well once every 10-14 days with a water-soluble all-purpose organic fertilizer.
Super Salad- 1 yellow squash, 1 cucumber, chives, 1 cherry tomato, carrot seeds, lettuce seeds, radish seeds, dwarf sunflowers. Plant sunflowers and tomato as tallest point plants, cucumbers and squash as "spillers" (make sure they have ample room to the edge, and be prepared to prune them back if necessary). Sow carrot and radish seeds approximately 2 inches from edge of pot, harvest when young. Sow lettuce generously in open spots, harvest as baby lettuces, resow approximately every 2-3 weeks.
Fruity- 1 dwarf blueberry plant, 1 dwarf watermelon, strawberries, stevia. Plant blueberry bush closer to the edge/back. Plant watermelon approximately 4' from blueberry root ball, with a trellis. Train watermelon up the trellis as it grows. When fruit appears, "diaper" the young watermelons with cheesecloth or old pantyhose, allowing enough slack for fruit to develop without falling (this technique can be used with any fruiting vine, such as pumpkins, squash, cucumbers or eggplants) . Plant strawberries generously to the edge. Tuck a stevia plant or two into the pot to provide sweetness to any dish without sugar!
Herbs- Rosemary, oregano, thyme, sage, lemon balm, parsley, chives, garlic and other herbs can be planted in any size or shape container to provide an attractive and useful addition to any windowsill, patio or deck. NOTE: Always plant mint in its own container. It is voracious, and will take over any garden, container or yard it makes contact with.
As an added benefit- there are many beautiful flowers that have both culinary and pest control uses. I sprinkle marigold seeds in every container I make, and sunflowers are always a favorite, not just because they are so pretty, but because they provide delicious seeds that can be added to salads or eaten raw, roasted or baked into bread. A few minutes on Google can always tell you which of the edible flowers are best suited to your growing area.
Luckily, I'm blessed with kids that love all this stuff too. What we haven't always been blessed with is the space to grow a decent-sized garden. Several years ago, I started doing container gardens, loaded with enough plants to produce either a full serving of veggies or a salad (or a fruit addition) for at least one meal a day for the whole growing season. It started as an experiment, and ended up being one of my favorite, and most successful, projects ever. All you have to do is follow a couple of really, really simple rules.
1) Start with the right tools- plants need food, sunlight and water to grow. Use the best soil and container possible. I use cow manure and half-casks (available cheaply at most Wal-Marts or gardening centers), since my containers are outside, mixed with perlite and some generic potting soil. All told, it might cost me about $4 a container to fill them up with a good blend. Most importantly- find the right spot. Ideally, you want somewhere with morning sun, but anywhere that gets good sun/light for at least 6 hours a day will usually produce plenty of goodies.
2) Only plant what you know you'll eat. If you hate peas, don't bother with them.
3) Plan a meal around your container. It's not hard. If you like spaghetti with salad on the side, plant an Italian garden with a heirloom tomato (Silver Palates, Old Man in The Sea, Black Krim, or any of the yellow/pink tomatoes), a green bell pepper plant, basil, rosemary, parsley, oregano, thyme, green bunch onions, lettuce and a bush-type cherry tomato. Yes, all that will fit in a container that fits into a 2x2 square space. I even tuck in nasturtium seeds.
That's it, that's all the rules. Now I'll explain how I plant these suckers, and why they work for me.
First, go get your pot. You can use something smaller than a half-cask sized pot if you like, and you can do as many pots as you can creatively arrange in your space. Make sure there's a good drainage hole. If not, you can dump some small landscaping rocks, broken chunks of brick, or whatever stone you have at hand in the bottom for a couple of inches to make a place for the water to escape to. Once you've handled drainage, fill your pot to within six inches of the top with your soil mixture.
Now you're ready for plants. For the fastest yield, you can start with seedling plants from a garden center. I do a mixture of seedlings and seeds, because certain plants I prefer to grow from seed, lettuce being one of the main ones. Remove your seedlings carefully from their nursery containers, keeping as much of the soil around the root ball as possible, unless they came in peat-pots that can be planted as they are. If you're growing plants that need supports, such as large-bush tomatoes, now is the time to go ahead and put your stakes in. Once that's done, you can arrange your plants in a classic container garden formation- tallest plants in the center, then fillers (such as herbs for an Italian-seasoning blend, edible flowers, lettuce), then spillers (thyme, vine plants such as squash, strawberries). This makes a classically attractive garden arrangement, and with the beautiful colors available in lettuce and other leafy greens, it can be as flamboyant as any flower bed. Give each seedling approximately 2.5" of space from it's neighbor. After planting the seedlings, fill in the soil around them to cover the nursery soil completely. Don't worry if you bury a bit of the stem- the plant will put out new roots along the buried part as it settles into its new home.
Alternatively, if you're a corner container person (which I am), you can arrange your plants with the tallest plants at the back (with an attractive stake or trellis arrangement against the backing walls), then mix in, your fillers, spillers, and even a few "pretties"- plants that have no purpose other than attracting bees and butterflies or adding fragrance to your patio. Fertilize well once every 10-14 days with a water-soluble all-purpose organic fertilizer.
Now, I've used my Italian dinner garden as an example throughout this post, but there are dozens of combinations available. Some of my favorites are:
Italian dinner- 1 large cooking tomato, 1 cherry tomato, 1 bell pepper, 1 basil, 1 oregano, 1 thyme, 1 rosemary, green bunching onions, 1 parsley, lettuce seeds (romaine, red and green leaf and butter are my favorites), nasturtium seeds. Plant seedlings, with stakes for the tomatoes and pepper plants. Cover the root balls with soil. Sprinkle lettuce seeds throughout the open areas, water well. (Lettuce may have to be resown periodically) Fertilize well once every 10-14 days with a water-soluble all-purpose organic fertilizer.
Super Salad- 1 yellow squash, 1 cucumber, chives, 1 cherry tomato, carrot seeds, lettuce seeds, radish seeds, dwarf sunflowers. Plant sunflowers and tomato as tallest point plants, cucumbers and squash as "spillers" (make sure they have ample room to the edge, and be prepared to prune them back if necessary). Sow carrot and radish seeds approximately 2 inches from edge of pot, harvest when young. Sow lettuce generously in open spots, harvest as baby lettuces, resow approximately every 2-3 weeks.
Fruity- 1 dwarf blueberry plant, 1 dwarf watermelon, strawberries, stevia. Plant blueberry bush closer to the edge/back. Plant watermelon approximately 4' from blueberry root ball, with a trellis. Train watermelon up the trellis as it grows. When fruit appears, "diaper" the young watermelons with cheesecloth or old pantyhose, allowing enough slack for fruit to develop without falling (this technique can be used with any fruiting vine, such as pumpkins, squash, cucumbers or eggplants) . Plant strawberries generously to the edge. Tuck a stevia plant or two into the pot to provide sweetness to any dish without sugar!
Herbs- Rosemary, oregano, thyme, sage, lemon balm, parsley, chives, garlic and other herbs can be planted in any size or shape container to provide an attractive and useful addition to any windowsill, patio or deck. NOTE: Always plant mint in its own container. It is voracious, and will take over any garden, container or yard it makes contact with.
As an added benefit- there are many beautiful flowers that have both culinary and pest control uses. I sprinkle marigold seeds in every container I make, and sunflowers are always a favorite, not just because they are so pretty, but because they provide delicious seeds that can be added to salads or eaten raw, roasted or baked into bread. A few minutes on Google can always tell you which of the edible flowers are best suited to your growing area.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Little Moments
I have probably four loads of laundry to fold.
I have some dishes that need washed.
The cat needs a bath.
My corners need scrubbing in the bathroom, I should weed my garden, and I REALLY need to put the clean sheets on the bed before we go to sleep tonight, since Monkey decided to explode a diaper on them this morning.
But those things will always, always need done.
Today, the most awesome thing in the world for my little man is to sit on Mommy's lap and play with a potato smasher. Today, he will snuggle with me on the couch and giggle when I blow raspberries on my neck. Today, in this in between stage between "I just took my first steps" and the full-out dash of toddlerhood, my baby will still let me hold him and love him to pieces.
My days are not always easy- babies scream and cry and throw tantrums and cut teeth and go from clean to dripping poop on the floor in .23 seconds. But there are only so many baby days left. Right now, with Monkey napping in a pile of his toys on the floor and my cold coffee in hand- this is a precious moment.
To hell with the laundry. I'm going to fold up some memories instead.
I have some dishes that need washed.
The cat needs a bath.
My corners need scrubbing in the bathroom, I should weed my garden, and I REALLY need to put the clean sheets on the bed before we go to sleep tonight, since Monkey decided to explode a diaper on them this morning.
But those things will always, always need done.
Today, the most awesome thing in the world for my little man is to sit on Mommy's lap and play with a potato smasher. Today, he will snuggle with me on the couch and giggle when I blow raspberries on my neck. Today, in this in between stage between "I just took my first steps" and the full-out dash of toddlerhood, my baby will still let me hold him and love him to pieces.
My days are not always easy- babies scream and cry and throw tantrums and cut teeth and go from clean to dripping poop on the floor in .23 seconds. But there are only so many baby days left. Right now, with Monkey napping in a pile of his toys on the floor and my cold coffee in hand- this is a precious moment.
To hell with the laundry. I'm going to fold up some memories instead.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
We survived!
Well, it took forever to update, but we did survive Spring Break. It was a great week with Monkey, Daredevil, Gollum, Doctor Doom and my stepson, who for now we'll call Sonic. Much fun was had, new foods were tried, and it was all in all, a success.
On other fronts- things are progressing rapidly. The baby is now REALLY crawling, chattering up a storm, and starting to try to sit up and do that funy spider-walking thing that they do. Hubby is working 4-10s, so he gets Friday off- which I love. We actually get to spend some time together without a mass of children overwhelming us.
And we finally got approved for SNAP. It's something I wish we didn't need, but the fact is, even if I went back to work today, I couldn't make enough to pay for child care and buy the amount of groceries we need every week with active, growing boys and a husband inn a hard, physical labor position. We actually were supposed to be approved back in February, and we've been scraping by on 100/month for groceries, my WIC benefits and a commodity box a week. We never went hungry, but we had some lean, navy-beans-in-the-pot weeks, and lots of dinners where second helpings were nonexistent.
It was a huge weight off of my shoulders to be able to go grocery shopping and actually stock up, and know that there's no chance of being unable to feed my family a big, healthy meal that they can have as much as they want of. It doesn't mean we shop stupid, but little things like being able to stock up on store-brand Gatorade for the husband to take to work, and veggies and fruit for snacks- that kind of thing makes me feel safer. Knowing that the bills are paid mostly on time, and the kids are fed- priceless.
And as a mini celebration, we're having smothered chicken, baked sweet potatoes and steamed veggies for dinner. This makes me a very, very happy Mommy.
On other fronts- things are progressing rapidly. The baby is now REALLY crawling, chattering up a storm, and starting to try to sit up and do that funy spider-walking thing that they do. Hubby is working 4-10s, so he gets Friday off- which I love. We actually get to spend some time together without a mass of children overwhelming us.
And we finally got approved for SNAP. It's something I wish we didn't need, but the fact is, even if I went back to work today, I couldn't make enough to pay for child care and buy the amount of groceries we need every week with active, growing boys and a husband inn a hard, physical labor position. We actually were supposed to be approved back in February, and we've been scraping by on 100/month for groceries, my WIC benefits and a commodity box a week. We never went hungry, but we had some lean, navy-beans-in-the-pot weeks, and lots of dinners where second helpings were nonexistent.
It was a huge weight off of my shoulders to be able to go grocery shopping and actually stock up, and know that there's no chance of being unable to feed my family a big, healthy meal that they can have as much as they want of. It doesn't mean we shop stupid, but little things like being able to stock up on store-brand Gatorade for the husband to take to work, and veggies and fruit for snacks- that kind of thing makes me feel safer. Knowing that the bills are paid mostly on time, and the kids are fed- priceless.
And as a mini celebration, we're having smothered chicken, baked sweet potatoes and steamed veggies for dinner. This makes me a very, very happy Mommy.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Dandelion Seeds
It's been a little bit crazy around here. Chaotic, really. Monkey, at 3 months and change, discovered he could roll over and scoot himself arounnd the floor all by himself. While screaming at the top of his lungs because he isn't allowed to crawl into the shelves of the coffeetable or eat the paper out of the printer.
Bless his heart.
He also has added two words to his vocabulary- he now says "hi," "good," "Daddy," (loudly, insistently, and with accompanying bounces and lurching trying to reach "Daddy") and his newest is "keeeeeeeee!" every time the kitty comes within reach. That poor cat has had so much slobber and tail-chewing... he probably thinks he lives with an oddly-shaped mastiff puppy.
But hands-down, the most adorable thing Monkey has learned to do is repopulate the dandelions in my yard. During one of our tours of the yard ("See this, Monkey? This is yellow. A yellow dandelion. And this is a purple violet. Pur- NO MONKEY!! Nonono, do not eat the BROWN EARTHWORM!"), the Monkey discovered that when Mommy picks a soft, fluffy ball of spent dandelions- he can smash them. Which he does, with great delight, and then crows triumphantly as the fluffy little seeds float away from his hands. He loves the blasted things. And now my yard is full of weeds.
Bless his little heart.
In other news- Daredevil once again tried to kill himself with a bike trick last weekend- right after Gollum had yet another close encounter with a car- which left him with assorted bumps, bruises and abrasions in a *ahem* sensitive area. And Dr. Doom is driving us ALL insane with Weird Al Yankovic earworms. The fiance has threatende to strangle him with an accordion if he sings "Rye or the Kaiser" one. more. time.
Next week is Spring Break- which means five boys and me, in one very small space. If we survive it, I'll update you with the madness and mayhem.
Bless his heart.
He also has added two words to his vocabulary- he now says "hi," "good," "Daddy," (loudly, insistently, and with accompanying bounces and lurching trying to reach "Daddy") and his newest is "keeeeeeeee!" every time the kitty comes within reach. That poor cat has had so much slobber and tail-chewing... he probably thinks he lives with an oddly-shaped mastiff puppy.
But hands-down, the most adorable thing Monkey has learned to do is repopulate the dandelions in my yard. During one of our tours of the yard ("See this, Monkey? This is yellow. A yellow dandelion. And this is a purple violet. Pur- NO MONKEY!! Nonono, do not eat the BROWN EARTHWORM!"), the Monkey discovered that when Mommy picks a soft, fluffy ball of spent dandelions- he can smash them. Which he does, with great delight, and then crows triumphantly as the fluffy little seeds float away from his hands. He loves the blasted things. And now my yard is full of weeds.
Bless his little heart.
In other news- Daredevil once again tried to kill himself with a bike trick last weekend- right after Gollum had yet another close encounter with a car- which left him with assorted bumps, bruises and abrasions in a *ahem* sensitive area. And Dr. Doom is driving us ALL insane with Weird Al Yankovic earworms. The fiance has threatende to strangle him with an accordion if he sings "Rye or the Kaiser" one. more. time.
Next week is Spring Break- which means five boys and me, in one very small space. If we survive it, I'll update you with the madness and mayhem.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Feeling Froggy
A quick note on the new look- in honor of Spring, St.Patrick's day, and my favorite slimy critters, we are now FROGALICIOUS!!! The picture is one I took a few years ago, and love lots. Look at the little guy closely- he's obviously posing for the camera!
If people only knew...
All joking aside- I have awesome kids. In fact, if people knew how awesome, they'd be camping out in the bushes trying to kidnap them and clone them.
I love my little demons, and I love how they see life, and react to the things around them. Like the Gollum currently coaxing our overweight cat into exercising by dragging my crochet yarn across the house. He's so thrilled to have a cat again, he cleans the litter box without complaining. Doctor Doom and the Daredevil are off bouncing around the new neighborhood, after they cleaned up the yard trash and took it to the curb. Tomorrow we'll bake bread- because they love it, and after learning how to make it for themselves last week, they're hooked.
And just to brag a bit here- report cards and letters of recommendations came home yesterday- all good. Doctor Doom got invited to participate in a special science seminar, along with the rest of his robotics club. Gollum pulled Honor Roll again. Daredevil has started dragging his grades back up to gold star standard after a rough few rounds.
But what I really love about my guys is that they LOVE. They love the cats. They love their new brother like a fat kid loves cake. They love our house, our yard, the food on the table, the new family we are meeting more of all the time. They snuggle and hug and cuddle (even my teenager!!) and they LOVE everything and everyone.
They really are great kids. They have their moments (and some of them are doozies), but overall, they are incredible human beings. So the Daredevil takes four showers a day and is obsessed with Halo Legos. Doctor Doom spouts random trivia off like lava from an angry volcano. And Gollum occasionally pouts so hard pigeons use his lower lip as a perch. None of that takes away from the fact that they are superheroes in my eyes.
I love my little demons, and I love how they see life, and react to the things around them. Like the Gollum currently coaxing our overweight cat into exercising by dragging my crochet yarn across the house. He's so thrilled to have a cat again, he cleans the litter box without complaining. Doctor Doom and the Daredevil are off bouncing around the new neighborhood, after they cleaned up the yard trash and took it to the curb. Tomorrow we'll bake bread- because they love it, and after learning how to make it for themselves last week, they're hooked.
And just to brag a bit here- report cards and letters of recommendations came home yesterday- all good. Doctor Doom got invited to participate in a special science seminar, along with the rest of his robotics club. Gollum pulled Honor Roll again. Daredevil has started dragging his grades back up to gold star standard after a rough few rounds.
But what I really love about my guys is that they LOVE. They love the cats. They love their new brother like a fat kid loves cake. They love our house, our yard, the food on the table, the new family we are meeting more of all the time. They snuggle and hug and cuddle (even my teenager!!) and they LOVE everything and everyone.
They really are great kids. They have their moments (and some of them are doozies), but overall, they are incredible human beings. So the Daredevil takes four showers a day and is obsessed with Halo Legos. Doctor Doom spouts random trivia off like lava from an angry volcano. And Gollum occasionally pouts so hard pigeons use his lower lip as a perch. None of that takes away from the fact that they are superheroes in my eyes.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Monkeys, Marriage and Mischief
So, we have a Monkey. Born December 13, 2011, the Monkey was 6lbs 3oz, 19 inches long. He's an adorable little goober, and already shaping up to be as much trouble as his older brothers. I bounced back pretty quick, and I'm no longer psychotically crazy- just normal crazy.
In addition to having a 2 month old, the BF has become the soon-to-be husband, and we've bought a house.
Or rather, it will BE a house, once we finish renovating it.
I'm sure there are Mommies out there who have renovated on a budget- so you'll understand when I say that we are going crazy. Our budget isn't even in the shoestring range- more like spider silk. With a combination of luck, barter and an amazingly generous family who donated time and skills, we've managed to remove all the nasty flooring, paint the entire house, scrub it clean, replace the back door knob and locks, put down KILZ and rugs on the subfloor we have to live with temporarily, snag some furniture and fix the furnace issues- all for about $200.
We have all the basic essentials of life, which makes us happy. We have an incredibly healthy and happy baby. We're blessed in having a relationship that weathered my temporary mental health issues, great kids, and a wonderful support network.
I'll be back to blogging on a regular basis now that we have a more stable home life, so look for more updates soon!
In addition to having a 2 month old, the BF has become the soon-to-be husband, and we've bought a house.
Or rather, it will BE a house, once we finish renovating it.
I'm sure there are Mommies out there who have renovated on a budget- so you'll understand when I say that we are going crazy. Our budget isn't even in the shoestring range- more like spider silk. With a combination of luck, barter and an amazingly generous family who donated time and skills, we've managed to remove all the nasty flooring, paint the entire house, scrub it clean, replace the back door knob and locks, put down KILZ and rugs on the subfloor we have to live with temporarily, snag some furniture and fix the furnace issues- all for about $200.
We have all the basic essentials of life, which makes us happy. We have an incredibly healthy and happy baby. We're blessed in having a relationship that weathered my temporary mental health issues, great kids, and a wonderful support network.
I'll be back to blogging on a regular basis now that we have a more stable home life, so look for more updates soon!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
This will not be a happy bunny cheerful post, because I'm all out of sunshine and rainbows, and really just want to go curl up in a corner somewhere until everything is over. You've been warned.
Still no baby, and I am really freaking miserable. I hurt, and my legs are knotted from the back of my buttocks to my ankles, and swollen on top of it. Baby is stalled right now, and because of all the debates about my due date, nothing is going to happen. In the meantime, I can't go back to work, because my legs and feet are so swollen and painful that I can't stand or walk around for long periods of time. I'm going to try an Epsom Salts bath today (if I can find my Epsoms) and see if I can get some of the fluid retention out.
Had to go to U of L last night to be checked, and I wasn't exactly thrilled. While not as bad as Natalie, they passed me off to a couple of residents who pretty much irritated me more than anything else. They also tried to give me drugs immediately, as though that was a necessity- because I said I'd had a bit of a headache and nausea/queasiness all day. One of the drugs they were going to give me was Zofran, and the other I want to say was Dilauid? The Zofran was for nausea, the D-Whatever was for the headache. I refused both and I think they were surprised. What part of- I don't take anything that isn't absolutely necessary do they not get?
Irony- my back is spasming periodically from the combination of weight, stress and contractions. The nurse said "we can give you some Flexiril- that will help with the back pain." I just shook my head and wanted to laugh. The baby's heart rate kept dropping at random from 130s to low hundreds, and they told me that's normal. Scary as hell however, to hear a nice steady rolling rhythm, that all of a sudden stutters and drops.
On top of that, the BF has been an ass for the last few days. Everyone has told him he is being a sulky, broody, pouting PITA and he just insists that he is NOT! *insert foot stomp here* I am out of patience or tolerance. He doesn't understand that he makes me tense, angry and nervous with his damn hovering and pushiness and snapping at my kids (which if he doesn't leave them the fuck alone for the next few days, I am going to kick his ass). My friend (TSP) who has been staying with me so I'm not just curled in a ball on the couch crying- she makes me happy and keeps me laughing. She plays with me and lets me do my thing. She's kinda like Sarah, lite.
But she's not Sarah, and honestly- I wish I was in NY right now with Sarah, Queen Mother of Ta-Tas instead. Because she's awesome, and gets me, and understands that the whole "I am internalizing X amount of pain and covering it up with humor, hyperactivity and snarky goodness- please either participate or go nap in a corner" mindset I have in the last stages of this annoying bitch of a thing called pregnancy. TSP gets that, but Sarah has the added advantage of fifteen years of dealing with me at my absolute worst.
If this baby doesn't get moving soon, I'm going to simply crawl in the closet and wait for Sarah to be able to come down. I think I need the closest thing to a real family I have left. I'm depressed, frustrated, in discomfort pretty much constantly- and I just need it all to stop.
Still no baby, and I am really freaking miserable. I hurt, and my legs are knotted from the back of my buttocks to my ankles, and swollen on top of it. Baby is stalled right now, and because of all the debates about my due date, nothing is going to happen. In the meantime, I can't go back to work, because my legs and feet are so swollen and painful that I can't stand or walk around for long periods of time. I'm going to try an Epsom Salts bath today (if I can find my Epsoms) and see if I can get some of the fluid retention out.
Had to go to U of L last night to be checked, and I wasn't exactly thrilled. While not as bad as Natalie, they passed me off to a couple of residents who pretty much irritated me more than anything else. They also tried to give me drugs immediately, as though that was a necessity- because I said I'd had a bit of a headache and nausea/queasiness all day. One of the drugs they were going to give me was Zofran, and the other I want to say was Dilauid? The Zofran was for nausea, the D-Whatever was for the headache. I refused both and I think they were surprised. What part of- I don't take anything that isn't absolutely necessary do they not get?
Irony- my back is spasming periodically from the combination of weight, stress and contractions. The nurse said "we can give you some Flexiril- that will help with the back pain." I just shook my head and wanted to laugh. The baby's heart rate kept dropping at random from 130s to low hundreds, and they told me that's normal. Scary as hell however, to hear a nice steady rolling rhythm, that all of a sudden stutters and drops.
On top of that, the BF has been an ass for the last few days. Everyone has told him he is being a sulky, broody, pouting PITA and he just insists that he is NOT! *insert foot stomp here* I am out of patience or tolerance. He doesn't understand that he makes me tense, angry and nervous with his damn hovering and pushiness and snapping at my kids (which if he doesn't leave them the fuck alone for the next few days, I am going to kick his ass). My friend (TSP) who has been staying with me so I'm not just curled in a ball on the couch crying- she makes me happy and keeps me laughing. She plays with me and lets me do my thing. She's kinda like Sarah, lite.
But she's not Sarah, and honestly- I wish I was in NY right now with Sarah, Queen Mother of Ta-Tas instead. Because she's awesome, and gets me, and understands that the whole "I am internalizing X amount of pain and covering it up with humor, hyperactivity and snarky goodness- please either participate or go nap in a corner" mindset I have in the last stages of this annoying bitch of a thing called pregnancy. TSP gets that, but Sarah has the added advantage of fifteen years of dealing with me at my absolute worst.
If this baby doesn't get moving soon, I'm going to simply crawl in the closet and wait for Sarah to be able to come down. I think I need the closest thing to a real family I have left. I'm depressed, frustrated, in discomfort pretty much constantly- and I just need it all to stop.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Adventures in Baby-Hunting
So far, I have:
- had about a million contractions, that won't get consistent.
- slugged down a couple gallons of raspberry tea (thank goodness it's delicious) and double that amount of water.
- traumatized my friend the Sober Psycho by making her go to the mall and try on girly clothes.
- made a Silence of the Lambs reference that knocked TSP out of the chair and onto the floor in spasms of laughter
- scrubbed the bathroom floor. You could eat off my baseboards in there.
- walked a couple miles or ten.
- realized the BF is going to be completely screwed. I'm not even in full Snarky Bitch mode yet and he's already showing signs of trauma.
- started sneezing like no one's business.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
The Top 5 Things I Know About Drug-Free Labor....
So, for Mommies to Be who are possibly freaking out about labor- here's a few things that you can pretty much expect if you go the no-drugs route that I prefer.
1. It hurts. Yep, they tell you the truth about that. Intense, biting, wringing waves of pain that get closer together as the big moment arrives. You can fight them, and wear yourself out into a screaming, moaning crying mess. You can breathe through them and end up spitting out curses in little puffs. You can Zen through them and chew your lips bloody. But they will NOT kill you, believe it or not. I personally prefer a combination of breathing and Zen that may or may not resemble a muttered mantra of "Ihateyouyousorrysonuvabitchandi'msharpeningthefilletknifewhenigethomejustforyou." Especially if the XY donator is patting my hand and trying to be helpful.
2. Your body will want you to MOVE. I mean that. The worst thing that you can do is ignore those demands- if you feel like you should be curled up in a fetal ball in the corner or bent sideways and backwards over a chair- there's probably a really good reason. Walking, swaying, rocking, bouncing, squatting, crouching, rolling, stretching- all of these things are the body telling you "hey, we need some gravity over here on the left!" or "cramps at two o-clock, take evasive action!" Instincts are awesome- and really, who the hell cares if you look silly while in labor? You're pushing a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon- there's no graceful way to weather that particular storm.
3. The shower may be your best friend. I almost lived in the shower during my last labor. I may live in it during this one. Water is innately soothing and incredibly comforting, and it helped me deal with feeling like there were small spikes being driven into my spine at regular intervals. If you can get into the shower- do it. Make a labor partner come in and chat with you while you shower. Bring aromatherapy soap. Have someone wash your hair. Enjoy the little bits of relief you can get, when you get them.
4. Labor is UNcomfortable, so make yourself as comfortable as possible. Fluorescent lights (overhead lights in general) hurt my eyes and head, so I turned on all the little side lamps and turned off the overheads. Hospital gowns give me the shuddering skeevies, so I buy myself something comfy specifically for labor- blood will come right out with Ivory soap and cold water. And awesome socks, because awesome socks are love. Heating pads or hot water bottles, foot massages or ice packs- whatever works for you- do it. Listen to your music or watch a movie that makes you laugh. And if ANYONE in the room makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, kick their ass out. I don't care if it's your husband- if he's being a dick, toss him. Mom being a pain? Boot her. The person who is engaged in pushing a St. Berhard through the cat door is the ruling monarch of that room- so enjoy being the Queen Bitch.
5. Beware the ring of fire. This is the point where you start SCREAMING for relief- and it's too late, because that awesome little person that you're about to fall in love with (after you want to kill them) is making his final descent. Throw on some Johnny Cash and go along for the ride- you're committed at this point and there's no going back. No one ever thinks to warn us about this- and they SHOULD. Because trust me, that last push to get that kid out of you and into the world is the absolute hardest part of labor. It's also the most rewarding, so embrace it whole-heartedly, and go for the gold.
You've got this, Champ!
1. It hurts. Yep, they tell you the truth about that. Intense, biting, wringing waves of pain that get closer together as the big moment arrives. You can fight them, and wear yourself out into a screaming, moaning crying mess. You can breathe through them and end up spitting out curses in little puffs. You can Zen through them and chew your lips bloody. But they will NOT kill you, believe it or not. I personally prefer a combination of breathing and Zen that may or may not resemble a muttered mantra of "Ihateyouyousorrysonuvabitchandi'msharpeningthefilletknifewhenigethomejustforyou." Especially if the XY donator is patting my hand and trying to be helpful.
2. Your body will want you to MOVE. I mean that. The worst thing that you can do is ignore those demands- if you feel like you should be curled up in a fetal ball in the corner or bent sideways and backwards over a chair- there's probably a really good reason. Walking, swaying, rocking, bouncing, squatting, crouching, rolling, stretching- all of these things are the body telling you "hey, we need some gravity over here on the left!" or "cramps at two o-clock, take evasive action!" Instincts are awesome- and really, who the hell cares if you look silly while in labor? You're pushing a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon- there's no graceful way to weather that particular storm.
3. The shower may be your best friend. I almost lived in the shower during my last labor. I may live in it during this one. Water is innately soothing and incredibly comforting, and it helped me deal with feeling like there were small spikes being driven into my spine at regular intervals. If you can get into the shower- do it. Make a labor partner come in and chat with you while you shower. Bring aromatherapy soap. Have someone wash your hair. Enjoy the little bits of relief you can get, when you get them.
4. Labor is UNcomfortable, so make yourself as comfortable as possible. Fluorescent lights (overhead lights in general) hurt my eyes and head, so I turned on all the little side lamps and turned off the overheads. Hospital gowns give me the shuddering skeevies, so I buy myself something comfy specifically for labor- blood will come right out with Ivory soap and cold water. And awesome socks, because awesome socks are love. Heating pads or hot water bottles, foot massages or ice packs- whatever works for you- do it. Listen to your music or watch a movie that makes you laugh. And if ANYONE in the room makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, kick their ass out. I don't care if it's your husband- if he's being a dick, toss him. Mom being a pain? Boot her. The person who is engaged in pushing a St. Berhard through the cat door is the ruling monarch of that room- so enjoy being the Queen Bitch.
5. Beware the ring of fire. This is the point where you start SCREAMING for relief- and it's too late, because that awesome little person that you're about to fall in love with (after you want to kill them) is making his final descent. Throw on some Johnny Cash and go along for the ride- you're committed at this point and there's no going back. No one ever thinks to warn us about this- and they SHOULD. Because trust me, that last push to get that kid out of you and into the world is the absolute hardest part of labor. It's also the most rewarding, so embrace it whole-heartedly, and go for the gold.
You've got this, Champ!
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Your Due Date is When?
So, here I am in the homestretch of pregnancy, and I've decided something- my doctor likes to screw with my head, just for fun. I've had 4 or 5 due dates now. And none of them are really accurate. So my BEST guess is that sometime between Halloween and Christmas, the Alienbaby will make his appearance. Well, screw guessing. I'm taking action.
You see, my best friend is possibly available for emergency haul-ass-down-and-save-me-from-committing-murder the second weekend in November. Which means I'm going to pull out the raspberry tea, the bumpy dirt roads, and the walk-like-a-camel stops and do my best to go into labor then. Because honestly- there is no one I love more in this world that The Queen Mother of Ta-Tas, and she is possibly the only person in the delivery room I won't want to kill. And she'll help me smuggle coffee past the nurses. See why I love her?
Also- I am tired of being pregnant. To be fair, I was tired of being pregnant approximately three days in, but now I'm really bone-tired of it. Possibly the two jobs, school, sick kids (oh, yes, the kids had the running puke-and-craps for a week, did I mention?), the itchies from hell, and the displaced ribs on my entire right side have something to do with that. The insomnia isn't helping either.
Perhaps that's why I'm daydreaming about going into labor. Unlike most preggos, I don't dread labor. I love it. I look forward to it. Okay, yeah, it hurts. So does stubbing my toe or falling down the stairs eleventybillion times while trying to do laundry. Or getting thrown off a horse- and I've done that A LOT. But- and here's the great thing- labor hurts only until they hand you the scrunched up little demon you just pushed out. And once the intial 10 fingers, 10 toes, proper equipment, no tail checklist is done- there's this rush like nothing else. Because that's YOUR demon, and he's all in one piece, with no missing or spare parts, and you can relax. And once you pop into the shower (ignore the bloodbath, it's normal), toss on an industrial sized maxi ad and some clean jammies, the world pretty much settles back onto it's normal axis, and you can get on with being a mommy.
Except now you have rogue milk cannons attached to your chest. And those are a WHOLE different ball game.
You see, my best friend is possibly available for emergency haul-ass-down-and-save-me-from-committing-murder the second weekend in November. Which means I'm going to pull out the raspberry tea, the bumpy dirt roads, and the walk-like-a-camel stops and do my best to go into labor then. Because honestly- there is no one I love more in this world that The Queen Mother of Ta-Tas, and she is possibly the only person in the delivery room I won't want to kill. And she'll help me smuggle coffee past the nurses. See why I love her?
Also- I am tired of being pregnant. To be fair, I was tired of being pregnant approximately three days in, but now I'm really bone-tired of it. Possibly the two jobs, school, sick kids (oh, yes, the kids had the running puke-and-craps for a week, did I mention?), the itchies from hell, and the displaced ribs on my entire right side have something to do with that. The insomnia isn't helping either.
Perhaps that's why I'm daydreaming about going into labor. Unlike most preggos, I don't dread labor. I love it. I look forward to it. Okay, yeah, it hurts. So does stubbing my toe or falling down the stairs eleventybillion times while trying to do laundry. Or getting thrown off a horse- and I've done that A LOT. But- and here's the great thing- labor hurts only until they hand you the scrunched up little demon you just pushed out. And once the intial 10 fingers, 10 toes, proper equipment, no tail checklist is done- there's this rush like nothing else. Because that's YOUR demon, and he's all in one piece, with no missing or spare parts, and you can relax. And once you pop into the shower (ignore the bloodbath, it's normal), toss on an industrial sized maxi ad and some clean jammies, the world pretty much settles back onto it's normal axis, and you can get on with being a mommy.
Except now you have rogue milk cannons attached to your chest. And those are a WHOLE different ball game.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Things I Want to Say- the family edition.
I love my family like the Alienbaby loves applesauce. They are quirky, bizarre, charming, and utterly mad, but I adore them. That aside, there's a list of things three and a quarter miles long I often think, and seldom say. But oh boy, do I want to...
1. First- what is with the drunken elephant stomp? There are three culprits for this one- the BF, the Daredevil, and Gollum. When all three of them are in residence, it sounds like feeding time in the big top. I love them, but occasionally, I feel like I have their shoeprints on the inside of my eyelids. Haven't you guys ever heard of "walk softly and carry a big stick?"
2. The Battle of the Tea. Everyone in this household drinks iced tea (the SWEET kind, of course) like it's one of the necessities of life. Unfortunately, there are arguments on how to make said tea. The Ex makes the best, hands down- brewed, steeped for 20 minutes, 1 full cup of sugar, and stirred (counter clockwise) for exactly 30 seconds, with a metal spoon. We all agree on this- and yet there is a daily fight over how to make the tea (and who needs to do it). Can't we all just agree to adopt the Ex's method and make the tea whenever it gets low?
3. Why do I have no underwear? I'm the only girl in the house. We wash a dozen loads of laundry a week, and I fold dozens of pairs of boy undies in all shapes, colors, patterns and sizes. Unless one of you guys has a secret fetish for wearing my granny panties or we have fairies who only steal ladies' undergarments, there is no excuse for me to constantly scramble around looking for my panties. May I PLEASE have them back?
4. Drama is for stage shows. Granted, my life is pretty crazy, but I'm trying to find the humor in it. It makes me sad and worried when the only things I ever hear are how bad things are. I know things are tough all over, but please smile and try to say something positive every once in a while- otherwise I might have to shove a bar of sunshine up your rump. :) It's for your own good.
5. I love you guys like I love sunshine, kittens, rainbows and shiny things. I don't tell you that enough, and I'm sure sometimes you think I am the ogre in the closet because I'm always so damn blunt and hardheaded about things that I have strong opinions on, but I do love you.
1. First- what is with the drunken elephant stomp? There are three culprits for this one- the BF, the Daredevil, and Gollum. When all three of them are in residence, it sounds like feeding time in the big top. I love them, but occasionally, I feel like I have their shoeprints on the inside of my eyelids. Haven't you guys ever heard of "walk softly and carry a big stick?"
2. The Battle of the Tea. Everyone in this household drinks iced tea (the SWEET kind, of course) like it's one of the necessities of life. Unfortunately, there are arguments on how to make said tea. The Ex makes the best, hands down- brewed, steeped for 20 minutes, 1 full cup of sugar, and stirred (counter clockwise) for exactly 30 seconds, with a metal spoon. We all agree on this- and yet there is a daily fight over how to make the tea (and who needs to do it). Can't we all just agree to adopt the Ex's method and make the tea whenever it gets low?
3. Why do I have no underwear? I'm the only girl in the house. We wash a dozen loads of laundry a week, and I fold dozens of pairs of boy undies in all shapes, colors, patterns and sizes. Unless one of you guys has a secret fetish for wearing my granny panties or we have fairies who only steal ladies' undergarments, there is no excuse for me to constantly scramble around looking for my panties. May I PLEASE have them back?
4. Drama is for stage shows. Granted, my life is pretty crazy, but I'm trying to find the humor in it. It makes me sad and worried when the only things I ever hear are how bad things are. I know things are tough all over, but please smile and try to say something positive every once in a while- otherwise I might have to shove a bar of sunshine up your rump. :) It's for your own good.
5. I love you guys like I love sunshine, kittens, rainbows and shiny things. I don't tell you that enough, and I'm sure sometimes you think I am the ogre in the closet because I'm always so damn blunt and hardheaded about things that I have strong opinions on, but I do love you.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
PSA for everyone: Making Your Bed
I've been thinking about this a lot lately, ever since we (finally) got a bedframe and got the bed up off the floor.
Nothing compares to a good bed.
I don't mean a top of the line mattress or a fancy headboard. I mean a bed that is a retreat from everything else in the world, a comfortable, safe, warm place to curl up in. I can't remember where I heard/read/saw this, but I remember absorbing the information that people who take the time to make their bed (and room) a sanctuary report feeling more productive, sleeping better (even on fewer hours of sleep) and having less stress. As a Mommy who works all the time, I value all those things.
The BF and I recently splurged on really nice sheets, pillows, and a new comforter set. Between that and not killing myself trying to clamber up and down 20million times a night from the floor, I am amazed at how much better and more rested we both feel, and how different our day-to-day life is. For instance- now I make the bed.
I love making the bed. The ritual of shaking out the sheets, smoothing them into place, fluffing the pillows and comforter and turning everything back makes me smile. Seeing my bed made up with the throw pillows in place and the covers smooth makes me feel accomplished. And it keeps the sand and grit from the hardwood floors OFF my sheets- amazing.
My bed is the place everyone congregates. The kids come in to snuggle or watch TV with me, the BF and I do our homework curled up on the bed with our laptops. Friends come in and plop down cross-legged to talk, and if we had a cat, he'd be curled up right in the center. It's a safe place- it's impossible to argue or fuss when you're snuggled into fluffiness. And sliding into bed after a long day at work on good, smooth, soft sheets is a luxury that can't be denied.
No one should go without good sheets. I don't care if you've slept on sandpaper over a bed of nails for your whole life- you deserve great sheets. The higher the thread count the better, and cotton is never wrong. You can keep the silk and flannel and fleece and satin- my money is always on plain old cotton, that just gets softer in the wash. They're not expensive, overall- a trip to TJ Maxx or some place similar will net you a really nice set of 3-400 thread count sheets for between 20-30 bucks. And they are worth it. So are good pillows, and a nice comforter. And the best investment in the world for a Mommy (or anyone else) is a waterproof mattress pad with a quilted top. Junior spills his water on your bed? No problem- strip it down, toss it in the wash and dry it, and you don't have to sleep in a wet spot for so much as an hour. (It works on vomit and pee too- and we all know how often that happens with kids.)
Mommies- you deserve nice things too. Buy yourself some nice sheets. Tell Hubby to bring you home the comforter set you want (ours was another TJMaxx find- $70 for comforter, shams, dust ruffle and three toss pillows- and it's reversible, machine washable cotton in a really great pattern) for your birthday. Take a moment each day to make your bed- and trust me when I say that at the end of the day, when you come back to it after the screaming, crying, schlepping, lifting and hauling that is daily life with kids, families and careers- you will thank yourself. Because there in your room is a clean, clear island of peace that says "Hi there! Come snuggle."
Everyone needs the snuggles. Go get them. :)
Nothing compares to a good bed.
I don't mean a top of the line mattress or a fancy headboard. I mean a bed that is a retreat from everything else in the world, a comfortable, safe, warm place to curl up in. I can't remember where I heard/read/saw this, but I remember absorbing the information that people who take the time to make their bed (and room) a sanctuary report feeling more productive, sleeping better (even on fewer hours of sleep) and having less stress. As a Mommy who works all the time, I value all those things.
The BF and I recently splurged on really nice sheets, pillows, and a new comforter set. Between that and not killing myself trying to clamber up and down 20million times a night from the floor, I am amazed at how much better and more rested we both feel, and how different our day-to-day life is. For instance- now I make the bed.
I love making the bed. The ritual of shaking out the sheets, smoothing them into place, fluffing the pillows and comforter and turning everything back makes me smile. Seeing my bed made up with the throw pillows in place and the covers smooth makes me feel accomplished. And it keeps the sand and grit from the hardwood floors OFF my sheets- amazing.
My bed is the place everyone congregates. The kids come in to snuggle or watch TV with me, the BF and I do our homework curled up on the bed with our laptops. Friends come in and plop down cross-legged to talk, and if we had a cat, he'd be curled up right in the center. It's a safe place- it's impossible to argue or fuss when you're snuggled into fluffiness. And sliding into bed after a long day at work on good, smooth, soft sheets is a luxury that can't be denied.
No one should go without good sheets. I don't care if you've slept on sandpaper over a bed of nails for your whole life- you deserve great sheets. The higher the thread count the better, and cotton is never wrong. You can keep the silk and flannel and fleece and satin- my money is always on plain old cotton, that just gets softer in the wash. They're not expensive, overall- a trip to TJ Maxx or some place similar will net you a really nice set of 3-400 thread count sheets for between 20-30 bucks. And they are worth it. So are good pillows, and a nice comforter. And the best investment in the world for a Mommy (or anyone else) is a waterproof mattress pad with a quilted top. Junior spills his water on your bed? No problem- strip it down, toss it in the wash and dry it, and you don't have to sleep in a wet spot for so much as an hour. (It works on vomit and pee too- and we all know how often that happens with kids.)
Mommies- you deserve nice things too. Buy yourself some nice sheets. Tell Hubby to bring you home the comforter set you want (ours was another TJMaxx find- $70 for comforter, shams, dust ruffle and three toss pillows- and it's reversible, machine washable cotton in a really great pattern) for your birthday. Take a moment each day to make your bed- and trust me when I say that at the end of the day, when you come back to it after the screaming, crying, schlepping, lifting and hauling that is daily life with kids, families and careers- you will thank yourself. Because there in your room is a clean, clear island of peace that says "Hi there! Come snuggle."
Everyone needs the snuggles. Go get them. :)
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Oh, Boobies.
I woke up this morning with what certainly feels like a case of mastitis/milk fever. I'm familiar with the process, but I've never had it BEFORE the babies arrived. I'm due at the end of November, so with about 8 weeks to go, I didn't expect to deal with the engorged, painful, leaking boobs yet. I have hot, painful lumps on the right breast, and a feeling of general flu-like achiness and fever.
So, I'm drinking hot herbal tea, have hot compresses and Tylenol on board, and I'm sitting around topless expressing milk. It's a shame there's no hungry babies around- I seem to have PLENTY to go around.
Speaking of hungry babies- Alienbaby is getting huge. This means that Mommy eats everything in sight- double bacon cheeseburgers from Wendy's have been a favorite lately. Also, jalapeno cornbread with applesauce, chips and salsa, chips and applesauce, cheesecake, corndogs with applesauce, applesauce, peanut butter bread with apples, cheese with apples/applesauce, spaghetti, bread and butter, steak, baked potatoes, mashed potatoes with cheese and garlic toast, applesauce, and oh, yes, applesauce.
I don't, as a general rule, eat a quart of applesauce every two days, or even eat apples very often. Apparently, I'm giving birth to the carnivorous Irish reincarnation of Johnny Appleseed.
So, I'm drinking hot herbal tea, have hot compresses and Tylenol on board, and I'm sitting around topless expressing milk. It's a shame there's no hungry babies around- I seem to have PLENTY to go around.
Speaking of hungry babies- Alienbaby is getting huge. This means that Mommy eats everything in sight- double bacon cheeseburgers from Wendy's have been a favorite lately. Also, jalapeno cornbread with applesauce, chips and salsa, chips and applesauce, cheesecake, corndogs with applesauce, applesauce, peanut butter bread with apples, cheese with apples/applesauce, spaghetti, bread and butter, steak, baked potatoes, mashed potatoes with cheese and garlic toast, applesauce, and oh, yes, applesauce.
I don't, as a general rule, eat a quart of applesauce every two days, or even eat apples very often. Apparently, I'm giving birth to the carnivorous Irish reincarnation of Johnny Appleseed.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Baked Goods and Regrets
Amazingly enough, I have the equivalent of a day off- no night shift, no school, no day shift. I don't go back to work until 5pm tomorrow. So I went and grabbed some groceries, and started baking. One breakfast tart, two pans of brownies and a batch of cookies (plus dinner) later, I'm wiped out. I got the boys bathed and bedded down, packed up the supplies and tidied up the kitchen and sat down with my cup of decaf tea to enjoy the peace and quiet of a house devoid of adult males.
Jasmine, the big red hound, let me know that the neighbors had company. I went out and fed her some roast beast, and spent a few minutes scratching her adoring face. I can feel the swollen, hard lumps of the lymphoma that spells the end of her life in just a short week, when the pain meds from the vet run out and we make her final appointment with the vet. I'm not a dog person, but I will miss my girl. She's unfailingly loving, impossibly loyal, and has been security and protection for my boys for years. She's eaten concrete blocks and chewed through chains and wooden railings, and until a week ago, she had never had so much as a cold. In another week, one more piece of my little world will be gone. We're loving and spoiiling her rotten these last few days, knowing that letting her go now is so much kinder than letting her suffer through months of slow dying.
Nine months ago today, another little piece of my world vanished out from under me. I can always calculate that loss down to the day- unlike Jasmine, there's no peace to be made there. Three days after Christmas, my horse disappeared from my life. I lost a huge chunk of my heart and soul, and a huge chunk of my family, all in one go. Some things just cut too deeply to ever heal. For me, this is one of them.
We're a family that just has animals- lizards in the bedroom, a dog in the yard, usually a cat or two prowling around (whether they are ours or not). The squirrels know we're a soft touch, and this afternoon a chipmunk from under the holly bush came and sat on my sock. We love them in a practical way, for the most part, and understand that animals are pets, and won't be there forever. But every once in a while, one of them gets so deep under our skins that we can't imagine life without them.
Our home won't be the same without our sweet red pound puppy. It won't be as safe, or as secure, without her hell-hound alarms and constant begging for attention. My life will never be the same without my spoiled little Arab. Things will move along as they always do, but there will always be a little clock in the back of my mind- counting off the days, weeks, months and years.
With Jasmine, I have the closure of knowing that she will be beyond pain, waiting in whatever afterlife dogs have, chasing rabbits and rolling in the sunny grass. With Luke- I'll never know what happened. Wherever you are, my boy- I miss you. I'd give anything to have you home.
Jasmine, the big red hound, let me know that the neighbors had company. I went out and fed her some roast beast, and spent a few minutes scratching her adoring face. I can feel the swollen, hard lumps of the lymphoma that spells the end of her life in just a short week, when the pain meds from the vet run out and we make her final appointment with the vet. I'm not a dog person, but I will miss my girl. She's unfailingly loving, impossibly loyal, and has been security and protection for my boys for years. She's eaten concrete blocks and chewed through chains and wooden railings, and until a week ago, she had never had so much as a cold. In another week, one more piece of my little world will be gone. We're loving and spoiiling her rotten these last few days, knowing that letting her go now is so much kinder than letting her suffer through months of slow dying.
Nine months ago today, another little piece of my world vanished out from under me. I can always calculate that loss down to the day- unlike Jasmine, there's no peace to be made there. Three days after Christmas, my horse disappeared from my life. I lost a huge chunk of my heart and soul, and a huge chunk of my family, all in one go. Some things just cut too deeply to ever heal. For me, this is one of them.
We're a family that just has animals- lizards in the bedroom, a dog in the yard, usually a cat or two prowling around (whether they are ours or not). The squirrels know we're a soft touch, and this afternoon a chipmunk from under the holly bush came and sat on my sock. We love them in a practical way, for the most part, and understand that animals are pets, and won't be there forever. But every once in a while, one of them gets so deep under our skins that we can't imagine life without them.
Our home won't be the same without our sweet red pound puppy. It won't be as safe, or as secure, without her hell-hound alarms and constant begging for attention. My life will never be the same without my spoiled little Arab. Things will move along as they always do, but there will always be a little clock in the back of my mind- counting off the days, weeks, months and years.
With Jasmine, I have the closure of knowing that she will be beyond pain, waiting in whatever afterlife dogs have, chasing rabbits and rolling in the sunny grass. With Luke- I'll never know what happened. Wherever you are, my boy- I miss you. I'd give anything to have you home.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Reality Checks
You know the phrase "Don't let your mouth write checks your butt can't cash?"
I'm getting a hefty dose of reality checks lately. I've always been a pretty capable person- I work hard, I play hard, and I usually can muscle my way through anything, be it long hours, pain, or just plain fear. The last couple weeks- not so much.
Granted, I piled a lot on my plate. I bought a car, which gave me an extra $400 a month in bills for the next three months. I volunteered to pick up extra shifts and fill in gaps at work where we have lost people- so in any given week I may pull four carryout, two or three host, and two or three server shifts. And I am roughly 30 weeks pregnant, with three kids in school already, going to school myself and I have a house full of things that need done. All of this has combined to create a perfect storm. So I'm giving myself one post to vent and put myself in perspective.
Now, folks- remind me of this post when I start getting cranky, okay?
I'm getting a hefty dose of reality checks lately. I've always been a pretty capable person- I work hard, I play hard, and I usually can muscle my way through anything, be it long hours, pain, or just plain fear. The last couple weeks- not so much.
Granted, I piled a lot on my plate. I bought a car, which gave me an extra $400 a month in bills for the next three months. I volunteered to pick up extra shifts and fill in gaps at work where we have lost people- so in any given week I may pull four carryout, two or three host, and two or three server shifts. And I am roughly 30 weeks pregnant, with three kids in school already, going to school myself and I have a house full of things that need done. All of this has combined to create a perfect storm. So I'm giving myself one post to vent and put myself in perspective.
- I AM NOT SUPERMOM. I need to remind myself of this. I need to ask for help, and be gracious when I get it.
- Hard work can kill someone. My cardiologist agrees with me on this, and has prescribed less caffeine and more sleep. Taking his advice would be a good thing- which means stop volunteering for 15 extra hours a week and living off of tea and coffee.
- I have the best friends/family in the world. Mark, Sarah, TopShot, Jolly Green Giant and Kittay- I am talking to you guys. If I haven't told you this lately- you guys are awesome.
- Pain is the body's signal that something is wrong. My left hip has had a pinched nerve for 10 days or so now, and I need to actually rest and allow my body to recuperate. Tylenol is not a food group.
- Speaking of food- eating is a good thing. The Alienbaby appreciates it. So does the body that I constantly abuse with overwork. So put down the teacup and pick up a cheeseburger.
- God works in mysterious ways. Remember how I said that I was so tightly strapped that I wouldn't be able to afford nursery furniture? Unexpectedly, a friend from the past sent me a crib (with a crib set!) and rocker. I am still gobsmacked, and incredibly grateful. Alienbaby won't have to live in a laundry basket after all.
- SPEAK UP. There are things that have been bothering me a lot lately, and as a result I have been a bit of a whiny bitch to everyone EXCEPT the people I needed to speak to. Passive-aggressive conditioning at its best. The people involved may not appreciate being told why I am annoyed with them, but it's better to say it directly to them than it is to let it build up and boil over like a volcano. (Thank you, Ex-Husband, for pointing out that I was repeating EXACTLY the same pattern that caused problems in our marraige.)
Now, folks- remind me of this post when I start getting cranky, okay?
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