Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Reality Checks

You know the phrase "Don't let your mouth write checks your butt can't cash?"

I'm getting a hefty dose of reality checks lately.  I've always been a pretty capable person- I work hard, I play hard, and I usually can muscle my way through anything, be it long hours, pain, or just plain fear.  The last couple weeks- not so much.

Granted, I piled a lot on my plate.  I bought a car, which gave me an extra $400 a month in bills for the next three months.  I volunteered to pick up extra shifts and fill in gaps at work where we have lost people- so in any given week I may pull four carryout, two or three host, and two or three server shifts.  And I am roughly 30 weeks pregnant, with three kids in school already, going to school myself and I have a house full of things that need done.  All of this has combined to create a perfect storm.  So I'm giving myself one post to vent and put myself in perspective.

  • I AM NOT SUPERMOM.  I need to remind myself of this.  I need to ask for help, and be gracious when I get it.
  • Hard work can kill someone.  My cardiologist agrees with me on this, and has prescribed less caffeine and more sleep.  Taking his advice would be a good thing- which means stop volunteering for 15 extra hours a week and living off of tea and coffee.
  • I have the best friends/family in the world.  Mark, Sarah, TopShot, Jolly Green Giant and Kittay- I am talking to you guys.  If I haven't told you this lately- you guys are awesome.
  • Pain is the body's signal that something is wrong.  My left hip has had a pinched nerve for 10 days or so now, and I need to actually rest and allow my body to recuperate.  Tylenol is not a food group.
  • Speaking of food- eating is a good thing.  The Alienbaby appreciates it.  So does the body that I constantly abuse with overwork.  So put down the teacup and pick up a cheeseburger. 
  • God works in mysterious ways.  Remember how I said that I was so tightly strapped that I wouldn't be able to afford nursery furniture?  Unexpectedly, a friend from the past sent me a crib (with a crib set!) and rocker.  I am still gobsmacked, and incredibly grateful.  Alienbaby won't have to live in a laundry basket after all.
  • SPEAK UP.  There are things that have been bothering me a lot lately, and as a result I have been a bit of a whiny bitch to everyone EXCEPT the people I needed to speak to.  Passive-aggressive conditioning at its best.  The people involved may not appreciate being told why I am annoyed with them, but it's better to say it directly to them than it is to let it build up and boil over like a volcano.  (Thank you, Ex-Husband, for pointing out that I was repeating EXACTLY the same pattern that caused problems in our marraige.)
So I'm making some changes.  I am going to continue working, and going to school, but I am also not going to keep trying to do everything.  Some things will just have to give.  I'm going to take better care of myself, and try to be more aware of the things I am doing that contribute to my overall stress level.  I'm restructuring my budget and priorities to save more money for the important things, and I'm going to try and make some me time.  Even if it's just going to the Y once a week to swim in the heated pool, I need a break from reality every once in a while.

Now, folks- remind me of this post when I start getting cranky, okay?

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