Sunday, September 11, 2011

The Definition of Epic

Do you know what the definition of "epic" is?

Getting up on a Saturday morning to the sounds of Bon Jovi rocking it out.  And when you stumble out to the kitchen, discovering Dr. Doom strutting his stuff in the kitchen, wearing yellow rubber gloves and scrubbing dishes.  WHILE headbanging and belting out classic 80s rock ballads at the top of his lungs.

The good Doctor then proceeded to scrub down the ENTIRE kitchen (without being nagged or even asked) to sparkly goodness.  And then he and the other two demons vanished for a while, and came home with newts.

Or salalmanders.  One or the other.  Small slimy lungless lizards who like wet places and are suspiciously cute.  And escape artists.  We currently have 3 in a makeshift habitat on the table.  And I'm not sure how many have escaped (apart from the three we still have contained), but I do know that the BF is TERRIFIED of them. 

I know this because at 10pm, he jumped up screaming "GET THAT THING OUT OF HERE!" like a girly-man, and doing the pee-pee dance while pointing at the lint-covered orange and black speckled cutie crawling on the baseboard.  YES, he demanded, in girly-man squeals, that his 7month pregnant girlfriend scoop up the slimy amphibian and carry it back to its watery prison.  And proceeded to examine the room like he was expecting to be attacked by hordes of soul-sucking alien newts. 

Yeah.  I'm totally going to tease him with Monty Python quotes for the rest of his natural-born life.

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